The Importance of Being Respected

I awoke from a bad dream, thoughts and anxieties circling and intertwining in my mind. I nearly stepped upon my little dog as I struggled to get out of the tangled blankets and bedspread, adding to a dreadful sense of guilt or foreboding that followed me from the other world of dreams. But somewhere in the process of escaping, a question I had held unresolved in my mind for over two years now seemed to get answered.

You see, ever since a particular evening of being introduced to strangers, that had melded into a sort of alternative family, in a small local bar outside of Chicago I had been troubled by something. Something that will surely seem trivial to many of you, and it is also the sort of thing which others will have resolved without ever having seen it as a problem. Indeed my concern with the issue probably comes from having been somewhere lost between cultures for quite some time.

What I was struck by was the simple human proclivity with announcing, and often embellishing, one’s own accomplishments. Storytelling, bragging, creating tall tales with yourself as the hero. Growing up I somehow imbibed the ideal of modesty, or humility. In grade school I remember being struck by the tale of St. George slaying the dragon, and then proclaiming that it was just a puny worm, ah such an honourable fellow that George. And then I went to Japan where, except for the occasional Sake induced pissing contest it is poor form to brag on yourself (you should have underlings do that for you.)

Having spent a fair amount of time talking with strangers I’ve often been dismayed be the way they insist upon telling me wonderful things about themselves. And frankly, it has hurt my self-esteem, I’ve not accomplished a single heroic task in my life, not one, and yet I seem to meet people that Ulysses to shame. It’s not that I’m not interested in learning about others, it’s just that I’d much rather hear their ideas and thoughts on a variety of things, than hear how they told someone off or scored the winning touchdown in every college football game etc.

This behavior, this bragging, had been nagging at me, and instead of feeling it was natural I felt like I needed a better explanation for it, some way to make sense out of it. So as I trudged over the cats and down through the hallway and toward wakefulness I turned on a light rubbed my eyes and said “Respect. These people just want to feel respected.”

Don’t we all?

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